I am breaking up with a favorite restaurant
Don't you just hate it when one of the few good restaurants that is right around the corner from your house ceases to be a favorite place to grab mussels and martinis and becomes the epitome of the quintessential negative restaurant experience? Ouch. I loved you. Why did you do this to me? You know I'm a fickle customer who enjoys flaming when appropriate on CitySearch....Is that what you want?
We were dressed to the nines having just come from the opera (that Don Giovanni is not a very good person).
All we wanted was a classy, dimly lit corner where we could sip icy Tanquerey and savor a mussel or twelve.
It was nearly closing but you welcomed us to come in and get comfortable.
Then it all went South.
I can't remember being so ignored for so long when dressed so dapperly. Our martinis sat on the bar until luke-cold, and that was after you chatted with your busser for about 20 minutes, willfully oblivious to the two very thirsty patrons desperately trying to eye contact you for a little attention.
Our mussels arrived before the cocktails, and even then it was a different waitress that brought them to our table.
I think your French accent was a fake.
When it dawned on you that our experience at Voila was a wash, you gave us two free glasses of Porto to reconcile, making a last ditch attempt at a decent tip. And you got it. You got your 20% you magnificent bastard because you knew what all villains know: we don't stoop to your level because we think something good in us separates us from restaurants like you.
You know the conventional wisdom on pissing off restaurant customers is that they'll promptly tell everyone they know whenever you come up in conversation that you're not a very good place to visit, and from there, the negative word of mouth spreads like a virus throughout your target demographic, decimating your sales, and finally, in the end, forcing you to close up shop, declare bankruptcy to avoid your investors, and move back to that little French backwater you worked so hard to escape.
I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I'm breaking up with you.
We were dressed to the nines having just come from the opera (that Don Giovanni is not a very good person).
All we wanted was a classy, dimly lit corner where we could sip icy Tanquerey and savor a mussel or twelve.
It was nearly closing but you welcomed us to come in and get comfortable.
Then it all went South.
I can't remember being so ignored for so long when dressed so dapperly. Our martinis sat on the bar until luke-cold, and that was after you chatted with your busser for about 20 minutes, willfully oblivious to the two very thirsty patrons desperately trying to eye contact you for a little attention.
Our mussels arrived before the cocktails, and even then it was a different waitress that brought them to our table.
I think your French accent was a fake.
When it dawned on you that our experience at Voila was a wash, you gave us two free glasses of Porto to reconcile, making a last ditch attempt at a decent tip. And you got it. You got your 20% you magnificent bastard because you knew what all villains know: we don't stoop to your level because we think something good in us separates us from restaurants like you.
You know the conventional wisdom on pissing off restaurant customers is that they'll promptly tell everyone they know whenever you come up in conversation that you're not a very good place to visit, and from there, the negative word of mouth spreads like a virus throughout your target demographic, decimating your sales, and finally, in the end, forcing you to close up shop, declare bankruptcy to avoid your investors, and move back to that little French backwater you worked so hard to escape.
I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I'm breaking up with you.
Comments
Three formerly favorite places on my street have been put on the "feh!" list. Now we have to brave the muni for food. Horrors!
Next time, if you see the martinis on the counter go get them yourself. You'll be doing everyone a favor.
St. Germain is still fun for drinks and light eats, or Harvest Vine.. or Crush... or Rovers.. or Nishino.. or go up to Cremant... :)